$114.69 FOR LIVE AID

Here’s what I’ll donate to Live Aid if these performers do the following things:

If Madonna plasters up her belly button: 69 cents.

If David Crosby loses 20 pounds: $1.50.

If Mick Jagger gains 20 pounds: $1.50.

If Prince performs in a pair of Levis 501s: $1.

If Bruce Springsteen walks a picket line: $100.

If Tina Turner doesn’t do another MTV promo: $10.

Like many Calendar readers, I’m also prepared to help out the starving people of Ethiopia--but only if my incredibly stupid demands are met. But if they’re not, well, Ethiopia, I guess you guys are on your own.

BOB STAAKE

Redondo Beach