MAKING IT WORK : Men Need to Offer Help, Women Have to Take It

Although medical treatment can make “the change of life” a smoother passage, menopause should not be considered an illness, says Laguna Beach psychotherapist Anne Price.

“I regard menopause as a beautiful coming into one’s most ideal self (rather than) a disease,” she observes. But the transition to what Price calls “more mature, ageless living” can be traumatic for those with severe symptoms resulting from loss of estrogen.

Following are some tips to help you keep your marriage on an even keel during this volatile time.

For men, Price suggests:

* Help your mate find the information and resources she needs and, at the same time, educate yourself.

* Make it possible for her to get away from daily stresses and renew herself by taking short trips--on her own as well as with you.

* Encourage your partner to exercise. Better yet, join her in a fitness program.

* Be patient. A let’s-get-this-over-with attitude will make it harder for her to share what she’s going through and ask for help.

For women, Huntington Beach therapist Karen Jordahl suggests:

* Without being critical, let your mate know what kind of support you need from him. Silence that inner voice that says, “If I have to ask for help, it doesn’t count.”

* Find ways to celebrate this season of your life, including some that involve your mate.

* Seek support from other women going through menopause.

* Keep your sense of humor.