Night Out for Music Mavens: Dr. Seuss Meets Pure Class

W e spotted cork platforms, a shirt splashed with a biblical reference, flapper necklaces, gumdrop-colored hair baubles, men in pearls and more at the 35th annual Grammy Awards at the Shrine Auditorium on Wednesday night. Like most of you, we were at home in comfy-wear as we eyeballed the glitzed-out guys and gals who make the music industry sing. We spotted some trends that were HOT! and some that were NOT!

SHE: When Gloria “Anything for You” Estefan swept on stage to present Eric Clapton with his first of six awards, I breathed a sign of relief. This would not be freak-fashion night after all (well, almost).

Her look: thoroughly modern. Simple, black sheath. Tastefully plunging neckline. Upswept bob. Makeup in the reddish-brown tones. A flapper necklace or two. A tasteful mix of glamour and glitz.

HE: I was pleasantly surprised, too. I remember Grammy telecasts from years past when the participants looked like they’d just come from Halloween on Mars, but it appears now that being a contemporary musician doesn’t mean that you check your fashion sense at the door. Mr. Big of the evening, Eric Clapton--formerly of Cream and the Yardbirds--wore a well-cut traditional black tux.

I was actually most impressed with k.d. lang’s outfit: a modification of a late 18th-Century frock coat. It suited her. It was just theatrical enough for an event like the Grammys but it didn’t scream COSTUME! at you.

SHE: So when am I going to see you with a medallion the size of a pancake shining on your bare chest?

I couldn’t believe all of the men who wore au naturel body suits. Bare-chested men in medallions. In black leather jackets. In sequin-emblazoned blazers. In tuxes.

My NOT! vote: The Red Hot Chili Peppers’ lead singer strutting, bare-chested , in a Catholic priest’s Mass vestment. Please.

HE: Then you must have missed the guy in the wedding dress and the other one wearing a big diaper with silver balloons attached. Garry Shandling put it in a capsule in his intro for them: “Proof that there are no more fashion don’ts.” Yep, the Red Hot Chili Peppers are the Village People of the ‘90s, without the fashion sense.

My pick for Brain-Dead Outfit of the Evening, though, goes to that shining beacon of eloquence, erudition and good taste, Marky Mark. A ball cap and a basketball jersey over a white T-shirt. Real class, there, ace. Call if you find work.

SHE: The En Vogue singers, with their skimpy silver chemises and gumdrop-colored hair baubles, intrigued me. They let their shiny frocks and hair jewelry do all of the talking. They eschewed necklaces, even earrings. In fact, the no-earrings look may be a trend. Vanessa Williams didn’t bother with earbobs; her crystal-studded choker was enough. Ditto several female members of the audience.

HE: Call me hopelessly square, but I didn’t truly sink back all the way into my couch until Tony Bennett and Natalie Cole came on. Seeing Tony in a gleaming white dinner jacket and Natalie in a tightly wrapped strapless dark silver-gray gown made me relax. Finally, I thought, a couple of real pros.

You can have all the rest of the Mardi Gras junk some of the others were wearing; when those two walk into any room they’ll be instantly noticed, I guarantee. Dressing like a Dr. Seuss character is no substitute for pure class, and those two had it to burn.

SHE: Michael Jackson looking virginal in white silk was also a sight for sore eyes. The black-sequin armband has got to go, but I drooled over the boldly embellished jacket he wore--a military-style affair embedded with jawbreaker-size pearls. It suited his flamboyant style.

I also loved Bonnie Raitt’s forest-green satin brocade gown. And Vanessa Williams’ black lace maternity gown. Perfectly appropriate. They oozed confidence.

HE: It wasn’t until the third hour of the show that something dawned on me: where were the men’s ties? Several guys, the otherwise well-suited Vince Gill and Peabo Bryson among them, were wearing shirts buttoned to the top, with no ties. And Shandling and a few others were wearing something that looked like a black ribbon around their necks.

Boyz II Men mangled it though, and looked great. I’d like to find out where they got those polka dot vests.

SHE: The T-shirt printed with “John 3:16” worn by Billy Ray Cyrus sent me running to the family Bible. The verse begins: “Yes, God so loved the world He gave his only son . . . “

HE: Then He must have been feeling a little peevish when “Achy Breaky Heart” was released.