When Your Teen Is at a Party

* Obtain the address and phone number of the host. Have your teen agree to call you if the location changes.

* Contact the parents of the party giver to: 1) offer assistance and support, 2) verify the occasion and location, and 3) make sure the parents will be present.

* Be certain that alcohol and other drugs will not be permitted.

* Get to know the parents of your child’s friends.

* Discuss a curfew for your child. Agree that you or a specified friend will come to get your child if he/she calls you for a ride, no questions asked.

* Provide phone numbers and discuss situations that might necessitate this.

* Reinforce that under no circumstances should your teenager allow someone who has been drinking or using drugs to drive him/her anywhere.

* Be awake, or have your child wake you and talk to you, when he/she arrives home. Youths are less likely to abuse drugs, including alcohol, when they are required to talk to you when they come home.

* If your child stays overnight with a friend after the party, personally check with the other parents.

* If your child attends a party where alcohol is either served by the parents or allowed, call the parents and discuss your feelings and the legal ramifications.

* Express thanks and support to parents and students who give parties within these guidelines.

When Your Child Gives a Party

* Don’t allow your child to have a party while you are away.

* Share responsibility for hosting the party. Know who the guests will be and have your teen use invitations to curb the “open party” situation.

* Don’t allow your child to sell tickets or distribute fliers for the party. Set defined time limits.

* Plan some activities (dancing, movies, sports, etc.).

* Notify your neighbors that a supervised party will be held and give them your phone number.

* Plan to have plenty of food and nonalcoholic drinks.

* Don’t have your own alcohol easily available.

* Notify the police when giving a large party, and agree on a parking plan.

* Be present, visible and aware.

* Help with serving snacks and drinks to keep the party running smoothly, and meet your child’s friends.

* Be aware that it is illegal to serve drugs including alcohol to anyone under 21. If police are required to respond to your home because of a complaint, you may be charged for all police and/or emergency services.

* Anyone who leaves the party should not be allowed to return. This discourages people from leaving the party, drinking or using other drugs and returning.

* Be alert for signs of alcohol and other drug use.

* Notify the parents of any teen who arrives at your party under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

* Provide a safe ride home if you ask an intoxicated teen to leave. Never let an intoxicated teen drive.

* Discuss the party with your child afterward and share observations and possible frustrations.

Party Guidelines

* No drugs, including alcohol

* No leaving and coming back

* No uninvited guests

* Some rooms are off-limits

Source: City of Santa Clara