The Age of Woman

It was one of those autumn nights Los Angeles is famous for, with the air as soft as a woman’s touch and the view a sea of diamonds.

Tall, pencil-thin palms dusted a moonlit sky on an estate that crested the West Hollywood hills. Music played and wine flowed and the talk was of humanity and equality.

It was a fund-raiser for the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, an organization that represents military personnel who are prosecuted or harassed because of their sexual orientation.

This night honored women, both gays and straights, who had suffered under the harsh regimes of a male-dominated world of ships and tanks and fighter jets.

It celebrated the women who, in a larger sense, had marched into hell out of a sense of career or duty and had paid high prices. And it celebrated those who took their cases to court and emerged just one step closer to a better world.

I heard stories of rape and blackmail and of women driven from the service because they wouldn’t “cooperate” with their male counterparts.

I heard stories of false accusations and women convicted by miliary courts “for being who we were”; not for crimes of commission or character but for being women in a man’s tight world.

They stood together that velvety autumn night as human equals, and it was impressive.

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I was in foreign territory in this crusade, but the issue was compelling. I went there to listen and to learn. The kinds of stories I heard about the treatment of women in the military were difficult to take. But as I look back on my own stay in the Marines, I could understand them.

The Corps can be a tough, unyielding outfit and the idea of women, especially lesbians, in their midst would be hard for it to accept. Women were to be used, not respected, and certainly not accepted as equals.

It took the Marines years to tolerate blacks and Latinos in their midst. Speaking from experience, I can tell you the acceptance came slowly and often at a price.

The climate for gay men is improving in the military, but for gay women, there’s still a long way to go. Lee Michaelson, a Los Angeles attorney and board member of the Legal Defense Network, points out that although women represent only 14% of the military, 28% received gay discharges last year.

“It’s a woman’s issue, straight or gay,” she said. “If a woman is propositioned and reports it, she becomes the target of a probe. If she goes along, she has to sleep her way to the top. If she doesn’t go along, she’s accused of being a lesbian and her career is over.”

The “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy instituted in 1994 helped open the door to at least a dialogue on gender bias and abuse in the military.

But still the problem continues. At a time when our armed forces suffer from a shortage of enlistments, gays are being drummed out at an increased rate. Last year, 1,145 men and women were discharged for being homosexual. The year before the don’t-ask policy, the number was 617.

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The travail of women in the military is not an issue that has moved me up until now. Especially that of gay women. But as I looked around on that gentle autumn night, something happened. My mind expanded.

I could see 300 women celebrating their own humanity, seeking not predominance but acceptance. They were tall, short, black, white, young, old, fat and thin. You couldn’t tell the gays from the straights, and it really didn’t matter.

They were a single unit as their voices rose in a unison of purpose. They cheered themselves because they knew that ultimately they would find their places in a world of men, and many would help them get there.

As recently as last August, the Pentagon ordered sensitivity training for all military personnel beginning in boot camp. But Michaelson, a retired Air Force chaplain, is skeptical.

“It creates a positive environment,” she said, “but similar guidelines were drawn up two years ago and were never issued to the services.”

So they’ll try again, taking another small step forward, like troops pushing for the high ground, moving upward inch by inch.

There is hope that new generations of soldiers and sailors will be more receptive to changes in the military than were previous generations. Old intolerances die hard, but it’s not only up to women or gays to put them to rest.

That night on a Hollywood hilltop it became clear that what we were toasting was a crusade whose time has come, and everyone was included. The message it sent to the military was loud and clear: Back off, boys. The women are marching in.

Al Martinez’s column appears Sundays and Wednesdays. He can be reached online at [email protected].