LAUGH LINES
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Go, Granny: “A 90-year-old grandmother, Granny D, as she is known in the hood, ended her yearlong, 3,000-mile walk for campaign finance reform at the steps of the Capitol. [She] arrived in Washington on Tuesday, more than a full year after she said she was going to the kitchen to wash out some old Ziploc bags.” (Jon Stewart)
Go Back, Granny: “You know the sad part? Somewhere along the way, [Granny D] lost her car keys and has to retrace her steps all the way back.” (Jay Leno)
*
The Essential
David Letterman
Top Signs Kathie Lee
Gifford Doesn’t Give
a Damn Anymore
10. Sometimes goes minutes at a time without mentioning her kids.
8. Keeps referring to Regis as the host of “Card Sharks.”
7. Dumped Frank; started dating Puffy.
6. Dumped Puffy; started dating Rick Rockwell.
5. Won’t stop talking about her quintuple bypass.
4. Forgets to not wear a bra.
3. No matter how much America pleads, she refuses to favor us with a song.
1. She’s guest-hosting the “Late Show.”
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