LAUGH LINES

Milestone: “It was on this day in 1928: the very first radio broadcast of ‘Amos ‘n’ Andy.’ It was from the campus of Bob Jones University.” (Jay Leno)

Best of the Rest: “Fifty-five Oscars were stolen. They recovered 53 of them. The other two are ordered to John and Patsy Ramsey.” (Leno)

Sweet Truth: “Teamster drivers are striking bakeries along the East Coast. It caused a nationwide shortage of Twinkies and Cupcakes. Luckily, with Congress back in session, there’s still one ding-dong for every 500,000 Americans.” (Argus Hamilton).

Held Up: “Victoria’s Secret mailed hundreds of Hollywood starlets special bra-and-panties sets intended to be worn under gowns at the Academy Awards. They sent Jennifer Lopez a staple gun.” (Jerry Perisho)

On Her Toes: “Madonna announced that she is pregnant again. She also announced that her next recording will be the old standard, ‘I Should Have Danced All Night.’ ” (Daily Scoop)

Labor Pains: “In an interview with People magazine, Kathie Lee Gifford said that she and Frank Gifford are recovering from his affair by having as much sex as possible. Apparently, Frank asked her, ‘Can’t I just work in a sweatshop?’ ” (Conan O’Brien)

Wacky Pair: “In an interview on ’60 Minutes’ . . . Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh said that while in prison, he and fellow inmate Unabomber Ted Kaczynski have struck up a friendship, even though McVeigh sees big government as the problem with society while Kaczynski blames technology. I smell a sitcom.” (Colin Quinn)

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